Filed under: Elemental Satire, Health, Bureaucracy, Air Apparent
AIR: The Promise Floats Once More
Somewhere high above the peaks of Snowdonia, on a breeze scented faintly of PowerPoint optimism and lightly reheated press releases, floats a familiar vapour:
“This time, things will change.”
That was the word from Dyfed Edwards, chairman of the long-suffering, long-waiting, long-everything Betsi Cadwaladr health board, who declared—on the crest of yet another gentle wind—that no patient will be waiting more than two years for treatment by the end of 2024.
This isn’t the first time such syllables have wafted into the valleys. In fact, the Welsh government’s declarations of progress have become something of a seasonal gust—less weather forecast, more fortune cookie.
FIRE: The Desire to Appear Resolute Burns Briefly
“We’re fairly confident,”
said Mr Edwards, with the flicker of a flame trying to light a campfire in a monsoon.
Confidence, of course, is a fiery thing: it blazes briefly in announcements, smoulders during scrutiny, and is quietly extinguished by next quarter’s statistics.
Meanwhile, Health Secretary Jeremy Miles—our nation’s resident fire marshal—fanned the flames just enough to keep appearances warm. He confirmed that some boards had hit their targets (praise the sun), while others, namely Cardiff and dear old Betsi, had not. Still, hope burns eternal, and nothing ignites more headlines than the promise that this time will be different.
WATER: The Flow of Excuses Remains Steady
“We’re facing a capacity situation.”
Ah yes, the sacred mantra of the bureaucratic Water Element.
Capacity is the great shapeshifter—it flows around plans, pools in bottlenecks, and gently erodes accountability over time. Like Water, it is hard to hold, harder to define, and impossible to blame on one person.
And like a Water sign during Mercury retrograde, the system is very emotional. We are reassured that government officials are now on hand to
“hold our hand.”
(Lovely, provided you’re not still waiting for someone to hold your catheter.)
EARTH: The System That Refuses to Budge
Despite a decade under special measures—yes, ten years—Betsi Cadwaladr remains as immovable as a stone in a field that nobody dares till.
One suspects even the Earth itself has grown weary. Audits have layered like geological strata. Promises fossilise faster than reforms. And each new calendar year plants the seed of another deadline that, like all good harvests, may come in another era entirely.
Meanwhile, opposition parties theatrically clear their throats and gesture toward public inquiries—if they win power next May. Earth doesn’t vote. Earth waits.
THE FINAL ELEMENT: TIME — The Ghost in the Wind
But the real element haunting this tale is Time—not one of the classic four, but the fifth force that mocks them all.
These deadlines, like whispers from a forgotten future, never quite arrive. They are ghosts in the wind: announced with the confidence of kings, remembered by none, and archived by all.
So here we are again.
The wind blows.
The fire flickers.
The waters rise.
The earth does not move.
And somewhere, quietly, the two-year waiting list waits for us.
Until next year’s wind.
Filed by The Daily Elemental
Where Deadlines Go to Reincarnate
Tags: #NHSWales #BetsiCadwaladr #Satire #Elements #GhostlyDeadlines #HealthPolitics #AirApparent
Original BBC Article
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c15n2pxjd1jo
The Daily EleMental 
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